Komyikpan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous squid.

Komyikpan created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Komyikpan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Komyikpan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Komyikpan's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Komyikpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes in need.

2. Run away if eight turtles approach from the east.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Komyikpan on top of all buildings.