Hitweevonk Larnlatkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional dryad.

Hitweevonk Larnlatkab created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitweevonk Larnlatkab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hitweevonk Larnlatkab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hitweevonk Larnlatkab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hitweevonk Larnlatkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hitweevonk Larnlatkab loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Always help sick snails.

5. Hide if eight dogs approach from the north.