Wabbifkom is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast naga.

Wabbifkom created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wabbifkom, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wabbifkom, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wabbifkom's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Wabbifkom's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never talk about gravity.