Bifyakkik is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate donkey.

Bifyakkik created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifyakkik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bifyakkik, he will manifest in front of you.

Bifyakkik's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bifyakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never wear red kilts.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.