Mabfudkan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, strong tapir.

Mabfudkan created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Mabfudkan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mabfudkan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Mabfudkan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Mabfudkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Mabfudkan on top of all buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.