Veddagbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, duplicitous wolf.

Veddagbonk created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veddagbonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Veddagbonk, he will boil you in a big pot.

Veddagbonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Veddagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. You must pray to Veddagbonk eight times a day.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.