Satcetfigcan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest yak.

Satcetfigcan created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Satcetfigcan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Satcetfigcan, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Satcetfigcan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Satcetfigcan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black dogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never feed onions to ducks while wearing magenta rings.

5. Fast once a month.