Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, effective lion.

Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flowkamdam Bammitgedtagappcum's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three eagles approach from the west.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always help monkeys.