Bityakarm is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest fairy.

Bityakarm created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bityakarm, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bityakarm, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bityakarm's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bityakarm's Holy Commandments

1. Bityakarm must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Hide from black doves for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Put Bityakarm first in all things.