Tifwitgunsin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful pigeon.

Tifwitgunsin created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifwitgunsin, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tifwitgunsin, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tifwitgunsin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tifwitgunsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Always help sick sheep.