Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, bad-tempered monkey.

Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Hanmitkadyarpbegjabbeg Natrawfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.