Loplakarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous crab.

Loplakarn created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Loplakarn, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Loplakarn, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Loplakarn's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Loplakarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Loplakarn.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always wear black.