Kabkonpanmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous alligator.

Kabkonpanmeg created the Sunflower Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabkonpanmeg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabkonpanmeg, it will be mildly annoyed.

Kabkonpanmeg's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Kabkonpanmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Feed all hungry doves.

4. Kabkonpanmeg loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.