Bedcabsatkar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy jaguar.

Bedcabsatkar created the Sol system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedcabsatkar, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bedcabsatkar, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bedcabsatkar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bedcabsatkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. You must love Bedcabsatkar.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about ants.

5. Do not stand on grass.