Binwatfen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic tortoise.

Binwatfen created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Binwatfen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Binwatfen, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Binwatfen's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Binwatfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Binwatfen on top of all buildings.