Fotgovkop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome warg.

Fotgovkop created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotgovkop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fotgovkop, she will turn you into a snail.

Fotgovkop's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fotgovkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must pray to Fotgovkop nine times a day.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Fotgovkop loves mice, so they must be respected.

5. Always pray immersed in water.