Barnfomvan is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing pig.

Barnfomvan created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnfomvan, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Barnfomvan, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Barnfomvan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Barnfomvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.