Duntimbed is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, conceited human.

Duntimbed created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Duntimbed, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Duntimbed, it will turn you into a goat.

Duntimbed's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Duntimbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Duntimbed on top of all buildings.

4. Worship no other gods but Duntimbed.

5. Never pour water over plants.