Toftallad Fligmeghabfab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tiresome bat.

Toftallad Fligmeghabfab created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Toftallad Fligmeghabfab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Toftallad Fligmeghabfab, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Toftallad Fligmeghabfab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Toftallad Fligmeghabfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Retreat if four goats approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about amino acids.