Hattanrawcun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hattanrawcun created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hattanrawcun, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hattanrawcun, she will send minions to preach to you.

Hattanrawcun's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hattanrawcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about tapirs.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Never talk about gravity.