Kanhonvabrot is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unthinking lion.

Kanhonvabrot created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanhonvabrot, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kanhonvabrot, she will turn you into a worm.

Kanhonvabrot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kanhonvabrot's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect nine tin sculptures of Kanhonvabrot on top of important buildings.

4. Run away from green dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Never think about amino acids.