Sakfempak is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, blissful capybara.

Sakfempak created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakfempak, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sakfempak, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sakfempak's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sakfempak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Sakfempak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Do not chop down trees.