Cancumyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, deceitful cow.

Cancumyarp created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Cancumyarp, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cancumyarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cancumyarp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Cancumyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.