Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring crocodile.

Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Kaploopvanbafmetsafaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat bark.