Tonkladdun is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, vain bird.

Tonkladdun created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkladdun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonkladdun, he will make you grow a tail.

Tonkladdun's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tonkladdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not hurt turtles.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Put Tonkladdun first in all things.