Cepnilwik is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate aardvark.

Cepnilwik created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepnilwik, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cepnilwik, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cepnilwik's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cepnilwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.