Cabpinzess is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, humorless warg.

Cabpinzess created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabpinzess, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cabpinzess, she will turn you into a snail.

Cabpinzess' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cabpinzess' Holy Commandments

1. Cabpinzess must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Always help great tits.