Tikgannill Cimflamdad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental penguin.

Tikgannill Cimflamdad created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikgannill Cimflamdad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikgannill Cimflamdad, it will turn you into a slug.

Tikgannill Cimflamdad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tikgannill Cimflamdad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.