Hatsasmothomran is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless grasshopper.

Hatsasmothomran created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatsasmothomran, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hatsasmothomran, he will think nothing of it.

Hatsasmothomran's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hatsasmothomran's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Put Hatsasmothomran first in all things.

5. Never mention foxes.