Tagbadsas is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, quiet coyote.

Tagbadsas created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbadsas, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tagbadsas, he will torture you forever.

Tagbadsas' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tagbadsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed melons to tapirs while wearing yellow shorts.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Do not take Tagbadsas' name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.