Mincussjip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, kind bird.

Mincussjip created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mincussjip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mincussjip, he will destroy your home planet.

Mincussjip's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mincussjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Always help sick turtles.

3. Bats are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.