Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic eagle.

Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Fubmathubmeg Hapbutmet must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from red foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat cherries.