Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, slow hyena.

Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot, it will turn you into a tree.

Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pitdaplimwik Sidtikwot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white frogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.