Lapquamsis is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, almighty wyvern.

Lapquamsis created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapquamsis, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lapquamsis, she will turn you into a goat.

Lapquamsis' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Lapquamsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Lapquamsis loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Hide from magenta badgers for they are unholy.