Stipvagmip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless lobster.

Stipvagmip created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Stipvagmip, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stipvagmip, he will turn you into a slug.

Stipvagmip's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Stipvagmip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Stipvagmip on top of all buildings.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.