Habfotbom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, confident mole.

Habfotbom created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habfotbom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Habfotbom, it will turn you into a snail.

Habfotbom's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Habfotbom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Habfotbom.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Habfotbom loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about black holes.