Bat Tomvogflanvogmum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witty dragonfly.

Bat Tomvogflanvogmum created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bat Tomvogflanvogmum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bat Tomvogflanvogmum, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bat Tomvogflanvogmum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bat Tomvogflanvogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Never feed oranges to tortoises while wearing orange jumpers.

4. Bat Tomvogflanvogmum loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.