Vagrakquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody walrus.

Vagrakquaf created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Vagrakquaf, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vagrakquaf, she will throw large rocks at you.

Vagrakquaf's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Vagrakquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.