Spagnigtan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless meerkat.

Spagnigtan created the Cigar Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagnigtan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Spagnigtan, she will turn you into a duck.

Spagnigtan's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Spagnigtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Spagnigtan loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never bounce in the presence of pigs.