Vaggep is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, quiet hippopotamus.

Vaggep created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggep, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vaggep, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vaggep's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vaggep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.