Jabjopfag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, emotional donkey.

Jabjopfag created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabjopfag, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jabjopfag, she will send you a sign.

Jabjopfag's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Jabjopfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Jabjopfag on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.