Betqueeggut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless monkey.

Betqueeggut created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betqueeggut, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Betqueeggut, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Betqueeggut's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Betqueeggut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Betqueeggut loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

5. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.