Flatpaddibnel is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid eagle.

Flatpaddibnel created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatpaddibnel, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatpaddibnel, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flatpaddibnel's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flatpaddibnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick frogs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flatpaddibnel.

4. Always help sick geese.

5. Hide if nine hamsters approach from the south.