Gupvegzen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fast hippopotamus.

Gupvegzen created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupvegzen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupvegzen, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Gupvegzen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gupvegzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Gupvegzen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.