Yognanpib is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome bat.

Yognanpib created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yognanpib, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yognanpib, she will turn you into a snail.

Yognanpib's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Yognanpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Hide if eight nematodes approach from the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.