Popnuttsat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid crow.

Popnuttsat created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Popnuttsat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Popnuttsat, she will send you a sign.

Popnuttsat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Popnuttsat's Holy Commandments

1. Popnuttsat loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Fast once a month.