Guplarnhitsin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid badger.

Guplarnhitsin created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guplarnhitsin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Guplarnhitsin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Guplarnhitsin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Guplarnhitsin's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always help ants.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.