Bisspontal is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, able lion.

Bisspontal created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisspontal, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bisspontal, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bisspontal's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bisspontal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.