Bonkmitsag is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, prudent snail.

Bonkmitsag created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Bonkmitsag, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonkmitsag, it will ignore you.

Bonkmitsag's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bonkmitsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Run away if eight otters approach from the south.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.