Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf is a god.

It takes the form of a small, ill-tempered crane.

Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tonkrilfem Fodloptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never jump near snails.

5. Never hurt great tits.